I recently came across an article about how people who “buy time” are happier than people who buy things. Buying time means that people pay to have other people do things for them that they don’t derive any pleasure from, like mowing the lawn and changing the oil in the car. When you buy time like that, you free yourself up to do other things with your life that do make you happy, whether it’s just spending time with your family or pursuing your hobbies.

This article stood out to me because it was so relevant to a discussion I was having with my mother a couple of weeks ago. As we get settled into our new responsibilities as homeowners rather than apartment-dwellers, Ben and I have been trying to figure out how much we can really handle with him being gone most weekends. As much as I loathe general maintenance things, I feel a sense of obligation to do them ourselves because that’s what my parents did when they were our age. I believe there’s a certain amount of pride to be had in being able and willing to maintain one’s home.

Ben would much rather pay yard guys and gutter cleaners and spend our free time together doing almost anything else.

Why not just hire some people? Buying time would be easier, right?

I know I’m being an obstinate stick in the mud, but I think I have a solid backing when you look at the ethics of hard work and frugality that are impressed upon us by our parents and teachers throughout our lives. Benjamin Franklin has about a thousand quotes attributed to him out there that I’m resting my argument on! But then research comes around and ruins my whole outlook on the issue.

It’s hard for me to let go of the idea that we should be doing all of our household duties by ourselves. My parents managed to do it, even with two small children. My grandparents all managed to run a household without having a yard guy or a cleaning lady. Why should that be changing now? And why am I so reluctant to let the idea that we should be doing the same thing go?

Much of it is that we’re a two-worker household, and that was not the case for my parents or grandparents. It’s a lot easier to get routine housework done when you’re not working full-time or more during the week. So only the bigger projects that had to get done on weekends, not the mundane things like mopping or ironing or grocery shopping. The other part is that Ben is home intermittently and while I want relax with him, life still goes on. We end spending our time together doing chores or we put the chores off and it all piles up. Buying time would remove us from having to toil away together or bask in guilt for playing hooky from our responsibilities.

It comes down to the work ethic

I’m reluctant to relinquish the ideal of being able to do it all ourselves because it feels like giving up. It feels like we’re playing right into the millennial stereotype of laziness and fiscal irresponsibility. Getting groceries delivered or my yard mowed when I’m a fully capable 26 year old feels unnecessarily indulgent, even in ways that buying pricy running clothes doesn’t. I know I’m not lazy. I’ll mow the yard the same day I do a long run with a grocery run in between. It’s not fiscally irresponsible of us. We can certainly make room for it in our budget, and if time together, then buying time makes sense. But I still go back to those memories of doing yard work with my parents as a child and feel like hiring someone is admitting defeat or failure.

I certainly bought in to the whole American puritan work ethic bit. I believe in self-sufficiency and take pride in a job done well. Mowing the lawn even secretly brings me a little joy. It’s one of the few things in life where you can see the progress you make immediately. I’m very good at getting up and doing things I don’t want to do because they need to get done. I didn’t miss a single run on the Pfitzinger plan last fall, even in the midst of family trauma. I just got up and did the runs because they were on the schedule. That’s just how I’m programmed. It’s usually a pretty good thing – I don’t cut myself a lot of slack to be lazy. This stint of deliberately not running until I feel the spark again is a very out-of-character exercise for me.

But the research falls on Ben’s side of things. We’re better off buying time. So maybe we’ll start off small and get someone to clean our gutters this year. I’m still not totally on board with the idea, but the research in the article I read was rather persuasive. If buying time is really buying happiness, then maybe it’ll prove to be worth it.